Wrong perspective

Work has been looooooooong and my weekend is now 3 days instead of 4 and I'm tired and I'm a bit scared and wondering what the heck God is doing right now...


... another girl quit. She had worked there for almost 3 years. She gave a lot of people a lot of crap and so everyone was happy except for the fact someone would have to take her place. And the fact they are all talking about everyone (even the new hires) makes me realize they are talking about me, too. So I am like oh *** why didn't I think of that before! And I get all this anxiety that I'm going to say the wrong thing and blah blah blah


But at the same time, something in me goes "Oh... my Lord is a strong Defender. He knows my case. He sees my cause. He knows my struggle. He sees my pain." And then the pain I realize isn't actual pain, but a wrong perspective, and I begin to feel so much lighter and actually start to smile. And I can actually be honest with my coworkers and not care about their opinion. Because it's just an opinion. I have value, wonderful value. It can't be taken away. It's in my DNA. My Lord carved it into my heart. And my heart is His. I am beautiful.


So I'm having an inner battle with myself. Feeling overwhelmed with my responsibilities, while trying not to fall into the pit that is self pity. Because I almost got lost in it this past week. Whew. That was close.