Daughter

Ahh... time to make a post that actually makes sense! The picture above is of me with my manicure... for my mom's birthday, my sis, my mom, and I all got our nails done. :)

Okay. So today is my mom's birthday. And today got me thinking about the relationship I have with her and how wonderful it is. Yah. Birthdays tend to do that to me. Anyways, I realized how special it is to be her daughter, and how special it is that she is my mother. God hand picked her for me, and knew just how important she would be to me at this point in my life especially. He knows all of her past and sees all of mine, and the fact that she has seen all of mine (other than my thoughts of course!) makes our relationship that much more special.
I realized how important it is to live in my identity as her daughter. Running away from her and from my family won't change my identity. It will only show the strength or weakness of my character. My identity is "daughter". That is the name God etched on my heart. I am Brianna, but I am also daughter. I am God's daughter, my mother's daughter, my father's daughter, and I will always be daughter. I may be mother to some children some day, true, but I will be a daughter too. Always.
In previous blog posts, you can see the struggle I had with accepting my identity as daughter here in New York. I wanted to be far away. I was tempted to run away with my life, instead of embrace the doors that are open here. The only way I can do that is acknowledge my Father, my Heavenly Father. The only way life can function as it should for me is if I accept my identity as a daughter of God.
I am so loved, so very adored by the King of Kings, and the Lord of Lords. He died for me, in my place. I was supposed to be up there, on the cross. And this year, I've been coming to understand why. Even though 2014 is only 2 weeks old, it's been a crazy good two weeks for me spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. I feel confident in God, in this new year.
I can't always say that I have felt confident, though. There have been times that doubt has been crippling. There have been moments where I wanted to give up so desperately. But I want to hold on this year. I am not strong enough to live out my identity on my own. I need God to help me, for without Him, I cannot fulfill my role as daughter, for whose daughter would I be? My parents, yes, but there is a facet of their parenting that can't be fixed... they do not see my heart's doubts unless I give that information to them. God can see these doubts whether I share them or not. He is the ultimate Father, Mother... He fulfills all roles.
And the fact that God, who fulfills all roles, would give me a Mother who personifies Him in such a lovely, perfect, graceful way.... I cannot help but worship.