Losing

Lately, I've felt like I've "been losing". I have felt that way a lot. I want to scream, "Look, don't you see how you have been treating me is wrong?! Why can't you see it? Why can't you admit it?!" You can't force someone to admit it. You can't force someone to see things your way. And I've felt like such a loser lately. Ugh.

So I rely on God and this song during times like this. I listen to this on replay and realize that just because I am being negatively treated, doesn't mean I need to return it. I can move on, and I can get the grace needed to forgive them. I want to be free.

Times like this teach me about sin and WHY I want to be free. I want to be free because sin weighs me down, not just because of the consequences. God is changing my affections. I pray I follow those new affections so I don't feel like a loser. I am not a loser, no matter how much I feel that way. I am on God's side. I am a winner.

It's been a weird day. Good night.