Saturday, May 11, 2013

Villa del Refugio

Got the album on iTunes- will enjoy it foreverrrrr.

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It's over. It's over. It's over.

This song invokes a lot of sad feelings in me. Especially because of this past month. Have you ever almost drowned before? I have. You're so high on adrenaline, you don't notice all of the thrashing your doing and all of the crashing. You notice the life guard above you, calling for backup. The seconds before back up comes is long. Too long. You notice the loneliness, the helplessness, the fear. You don't notice what's going on around you, and you are drowning. That's all there is to it. You know you are drowning, and that is all you're aware of.

That's how it is for the month of April. I feel like I came out from drowning; the stress of school and moving took me down deep. Plus I had insomnia. In May, God took His big, giant hands, stuck them under my armpits, and hoisted me to shore. And now I am lying there, breathing, recooperating, pleading with God to not let another wave take me under, because I feel weak.

At the same time, I feel angry. I mean, I shouldn't feel weak. I should feel strong and high above and like I conquered something massive. And in a way, I did. We moved, the stress is over, I finished my Biology course, and I'm pretty much half way to Staten Island. What is wrong with me?

God is on my side. That's all I need to know. All I need to remember.
I may be weak, but God is my strength; He is all I ever need.

I don't want to forget. I don't want to forget. God I pray, you won't let me forget.

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