The Harp

May 2012 (not my harp anymore- have a better one c:)

April 2012

December 2012

The harp... the instrument that can make and break me in one short minute. To practice, I could for hours... to play for someone else, my hands go instantly cold. I don't know what it is, it is very hard for me to play for someone else. It is hard for me to be vulnerable about it, but I figure admitting my weaknesses (without joking about it) should help me. It's not a little thing.

The confident smiles you see are from conquering fears. These are the pictures I want to remember BEFORE I perform. I love playing with my whole heart, but I have no idea where the fear comes from, the elevated heart beat, the cold hands, the shaking, my mind.....

Not many teenagers appreciate classical music... I am a proud exception in this case. Fear... it's pointless! If I mess up, it shouldn't change their opinion of me. And if it does, why should I care? It doesn't change God's opinion. I want to share His love for me through music. 

I don't know, honestly, whether God wants this to be a side thing, or a career. I don't know where He wants to take me with this. My heart is with God right now, and my heart still looks longingly at missions. Perhaps He wants me to go with the harp, I don't know. I will follow where He leads me.

"I want to share your beauty with the world..." Lyrics from a really sweet song I heard. That's how I feel about the harp. I want to share the beauty of the instrument- the instrument that has helped heal me from fears and insecurities. I love the harp, and I want to share the beauty that God created we call music.

I am going to play the harp. And I don't need to be afraid.

So this is for facing my fears, and sharing God's beauty with the world!