Jesus, my Daddy

It's not October, of this I am well aware. But oh my gosh, has Jesus been doing a good work in me. I can't shut up about it.

I've finally realized something. I have been a basic Pharisee. I've been peering at my church under a microscope as of late. I considered actually leaving it all because the people didn't seem as committed to Jesus as I supposedly was. That has been wrong, wrong, wrong. 
We all need Jesus, desperately, including myself. All Christians have Jesus, but some, including myself, begin to drift away into thinking that they are better than others because they read the Bible every day, and pray every day. God said you would know them by their fruit. Any tree can bear fruit, but what is the quality of the fruit?
I thought I was somehow bearing more fruit than the other members of my church, but the quality was rotten. Disgusting, and hidden behind the religious veil. My prayers, to even God, were fake. "Oh my Lord, you are so much greater than me, I don't deserve to be in your presence." Ah, I can't believe how I let all I learned get behind me so quickly, and I let myself start being the type of Christian that I hate so much.
I don't want to be Bible-bashing, I want my life to be Bible-sharing. I don't want to point out other people's flaws to make them feel bad, you know, everyone needs love. I may want to slap them on the head at times, but they need prayer (and GOD to slap them instead.) God, how long have I went on like this?
I am going to start praying for those I used to judge; I will start loving my Jesus and accepting His love, instead of sitting, begging for something I already have. I will continue to learn, and learn from everyone, including those I used to judge. Everyone has something they bring to the table. It's time I start looking for Jesus in everything, because He's there. He never left; I did.

I am so thankful for honest friends and family members to address this. This isn't something that can be fixed overnight, but I'm content with that. For the first time in my life, I'm okay with not being acting perfect; I am a work in progress. God has not completed this work in me, but I am sure one day it will be done. I love Him so much, and now my prayers are like, "Daddy, don't let me go." <3 It's different, it's changed; my heart is happy. These feelings will change; I'm going to mess up. But He remains, and I will rejoice.