Embrace the cheesiness!!

So today is a stressful day. Near the middle of it, I was feeling pretty insignificant. I snapped at my Dad a few times for no reason- it was just my Dad being my Dad- he was not mean or anything! (I'm very tired lately and am backing up my bed time. I am NOT in shape and have felt very fat lately. I am going to start up Wii fit again, I think.)

*ends rambling* :P

Anyways, I was sitting by my window, drinking in the sky, because that's what I do when I'm feeling down. And I just felt Him nudge at me to open up to Him.

So I just prayed and it went something like this: You want to see me, Lord? You want to see the real me? Well, come on in! My addictions are wrapped around my heart like tree roots. I've got bitterness, selfishness, and pride for the walls and floors. All in all, I have a heart full of confusion! What else do you want to see, Lord? I've got nothing for you! You have so much to give me, but I have nothing to give you. Nothing.

For some reason, through all of this, I felt a sense of joy creep into my heart. That's what I love about joy, it's totally unexpected. You can't make it happen- it isn't conjured up by drugs or anything. This "high" is real. I felt confused, because I was angry. Then bam- I'm all of a sudden joyful.

Huh. This Jesus is one heck of a character.

It was like I could feel Jesus suppress a laugh and smile. So I just closed my eyes and listened. Jesus has spoken to me before, but this was pretty dang great.

Silence. Nothing.

Then...

"I see you, beautiful."

This is one of the first times I've heard Jesus speak to me. I know it's Him, because He sends thoughts totally against my own. These thoughts are clearer than the others marching around my head as well. x) Ahh!! I love Him so much!!

The coolest part is, when He said He sees me, He didn't even have to say whether my condition is bad or not. I could feel what He meant. x) It was like He nodded His head and said, "I can work with this."

I am still trying to have God fix me, not myself. The Beautiful Outlaw book is helping me. The author told a great story about something I feel a lot, and it applied sooo much. It was about feeling "determined" to fix yourself. He said, though, that God is supposed to fix you, not yourself. We weren't meant to fix ourselves.

That took a load off.

A lot of people are scared to consider Christianity more than religion. I did. I have. Those feelings will probably creep back again. But hey, Christianity is cheesy.

Seriously. Have you considered it? It is so cheesy!!

"Jesus loves you!" "Jesus wants what is best for you!" It's the truth. Cheesy, but beautiful truth. Embrace it. x)

Yep, that's all I want to say today. Oh, my mom gave me a haircut. xD Yep. I live a fascinating life. She does a great job, by the way. ^_^

Wonderful update: Boxer is okay. x) The glory goes to Jesus! He got really fat over night at the vet though. >_> I can't stop wondering what they fed him. His arms are like balloons and they shake like jello whenever he hops. xD But he's okay! We have some medicine to give him orally through a syringe. Prayers for that are appreciated. :)