I have been really vulnerable with God lately. Something I haven't been in a while. And I am trying so hard to be vulnerable with others, but maybe it's in the NOT trying that I find I can be truly open. I miss feeling that way with Him. I stayed up late just crying with Him about things and it felt SO. GOOD. My heart actually contained emotions once again. I am finding victory in hidden places, places where I thought I would only see defeat.
I have been comparing myself to some Christian role models of mine and finding myself coming away quite jealous and feeling inadequate. Like wow, they are in such secure positions in their hearts and minds. So I'm trying to take a step back from seeing their successes, and instead find joy in my own. Because they are there! Sometimes I get into a bout of self pity, but I stand by my last post in saying that yes, life was hard, but hey, God sends joys AND trials! And He is nothing but love, all the time. The Father of Compassion. :)
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