Bless the Lord, oh my soul; worship His holy name.

Some songs that have truly lifted my spirits:

 



 

 

I'd rather not disclose details, so I hope this blog post makes sense.

Anyway, I am in a state of confusion. A state of wondering. But faith is at the core. I want you to know, friends, that I have not fallen. I have been deeply shaken, but I have not fallen. And I will not fall, for God is within me, dwelling and giving me strength. This is not the end. ;) A new chapter. A new beginning!

I just want to take this time to repent of all bitterness. I don't need to know why God does things, or why people do things. I can worship a God I don't have to understand; what a small God that would be! I can love people I don't understand. I don't need to understand them. I just need to love them.

I also want to repent of my self-pity. Yesterday I lifted up my life to God, and let all of the self-pity go away. I need to understand- His purposes are being accomplished. I have no reason to moan and groan or wonder, "Why me?" It may be hard for people to understand, but I believe in Someone that transcends circumstances. I can't deny that.

This may be one of the hardest things I'm going through now. But truthfully, this will be a time to look back and be amazed at God's faithfulness. Even if things fall through, even if it all goes down. I am ready, Lord, for whatever You want. I speak this with pure fear and sadness in my heart, for I don't believe You want that for us. However, I believe that whatever happens, You still deserve praise. You still deserve honor. Even in brokenness. God, teach me what that means. I don't know yet. I wish I did.

God only knows how I have failed and succeeded through this time. I have learned more than I have in a while. This has been such a crazy week of ups and downs, but I have tasted more of His love than I have in a while, and I can't thank Him enough for that.
When things do work out, I don't want to forget. Oh, I don't want to forget. I want to remember God's faithfulness. I want to remember that we are where we are by His grace. I also don't want to forget the darkness. The light will seem all that brighter. Sing like never before, oh my soul.
The words: His love is enough for me -- I am learning just how deep those words are, just how powerful their truth.

I'm noticing whenever I share good news with people, things come up that open my eyes to see this could easily slip between our fingers. Sooo, to protect us all, I think I'm going to take some time away from sharing good events. ;) Don't imagine the worst happening if I do not share for a while. Rather, trust the good is happening for us, no? :) We are in the home stretch.

P.S. Pray for Boston. I am in shock. I will never understand people. Praying for all of the victims, as well as the ones that initiated the bombs. I wonder what mental-state they were in when they put those bombs there... Thankfully God understands and is there; helping people and saving lives.