Ah, titles. Never know what to put.

I'm sorry that a lot of my rants on here blend into a lot of weird posts. My blog posts are just a jumble of all of my thoughts put together. It's sort of like my personal dumping ground, you know? I hope no one judges me for any of this; i don't know how many of my friends read this stuff without being an official 'follower'.

See, my beliefs in God are changing constantly; I'm continually maturing and becoming the woman God wants me to be. Even blog posts I put up a week ago, sometimes I wonder who was the girl that posted that. I'm changing a lot, but it's good.

Some days I wonder if I even am a Christian, but then I remember it's a daily battle, that His joy is sustaining me, and grace washes over me daily. I don't always realize it, and it makes me prideful. Not many people may struggle with pride, but I do. I need God to continually humble me. It's one of my many weaknesses.

I am learning to love myself, to most importantly love God, and from that love continually love others. I sometimes get really 'deep' and philosophical on things, when it's really so simple; it all comes down to love. Not necessarily easy to live out, but it is so very simple.

I'm sort of known for being deep; for reading a lot of books, for reading into a lot of things that happen day to day... to put a label on it, I'm an introvert. It's not a bad thing, but there are times where I look inward, when I should be looking outward. When I should be looking upward. I need to realize that life isn't a heavy burden; that people are living their own lives, their own realities, and they don't think about me and my flaws nearly as much as I let myself think.

I don't need to get anxious over any things I don't know, but I can present my requests and doubts to God. And His peace will fill me. And it does. And He will teach me. And He does. He is the perfect father.

I know God is enough through my shortcomings, and in my strengths, He will work through me.

I don't know what my future holds, but I know who holds my future. I know, that's really cheesy, but oh my gosh, it relieves so much stress. I can be like the Proverbs 31 woman and LAUGH at the days to come. Not something I'm good at doing, but it's baby steps. :) As long as I keep moving.

So yep, sort of an apology for the mess that is my blog. xD It's amazing how far He's brought me in a knowledge of Him, the world, and myself... and it's even more amazing to know that He will bring me even further than this; into a more intimate knowledge of everything and everyone.

1 Corinthians 13:12 - For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.