That picture isn't of my exact harp, but it's of a harp that looks exactly like mine. It's absolutely gorgeous. I think to many people take classical music for granted. It's just... harp means so much to me. It's like... I don't even know how to describe it! It's the simplicity and beauty of it... and all of those awesome things wrapped into one. When I'm in 'the zone,' it's just fantastic. It gets complicated at times, when I don't move my arms high enough or don't close my fingers tight enough. (Yeah... my teacher doesn't hold back on my downfalls with playing it.) But once I'm playing that song, nothing matters. It doesn't matter how I play it. It just matters that I'm playing it. And when I get a song down, it's the greatest feeling ever. It's so peaceful and relaxing, yet I'm actually working at it and playing it!
And you know, on a bigger scale, it's also frustrating. I mean, God gave us all so may talents. This may sound really silly and childish, but I want to use all of them! But there are sooooo many opportunities out there, I just can't. And that frustrates me! I want to use everything for Him, and I don't know what He had planned for me to use. I mean, what if I started playing the violin? Would I be better at it? Would I be able to worship Him more while playing that?
I guess I just have to please Him with what I have in front of me. I guess we all have to do that.
Anyway, tomorrow is church. I would like to say I'm excited, but sometimes I think the other teens there judge me for... being me. But being a Christian is also learning to love myself, because God loves me just the way I am. God's approval is all I need and is all I should want, but I'm learning to control these feelings. I'm grateful that God's helping me.
So yeah, I feel better now. I'm glad I have a blog. I am glad I can type about all this. It hurts my hand to actually just write at times... I should probably start an online diary.... :]
Bye!
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